Well, yesterday went about as great as any other time I try to stick my neck out to help someone in the family or close to me. Bad news is he did go to the appt and general surgeon says he has 2 hernias instead of one that need repair. Good news is that it's not an emergency that had to be today.
So, he scheduled it for Wednesday. For me that meant rescheduling 66 patients and taking my vacation. But seems that when I try to do something for someone thinking I'm helping, it really don't and makes a big mess instead. So lesson learned that I will keep my neck out of everything even if severe circumstances result. I can definitely go without being labeled, called names, and all the other wretched things that happen. I should have learned this lesson by now but for some reason my trying help turns into a disaster and I've been told many times that I am at the root of all disasters. So there you go. I keep remembering that phrase that I never understood, Life is what you make it, and I really made a big mess and usually do.
Everyday we learned lessons and yesterday I learned that my trying to help, never helps anything. That's about the best I can explain on a public domain.
This morning I woke at 3am again, my mind clicking through the laundry list of worries that I have on my plate right now. As I figure that most of them are totally out of my control, then I try to forget them but it's like a movie with no commercials that keeps playing over and over.
It's gray and gloomy here again to fit the atmostphere. I know of only one person I can travel to and talk to and I'm thinking of doing that today. They are never judgemental, always listens, and just helps me get my old self back again. They remind me that I don't make everything a disaster.
So here's hoping you aren't in shoes like mine today and that you are surrounding by people who love you just like you are.
Jennifer
If you can make that "visit" to that certain someone today , I think I would. A positive atmosphere does wonders for the soul! I know what you mean about sticking your neck out. I think we probably all have done that a time or two.Hoping your day is looking up! :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. Ok , this is freaky. My word verification is "lessin", funny huh , how you were talking about lessons learned!
Hang in there Jen! Good luck with BG on Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about a bad movie replaying over and over in your mind.... I hope today is a better day for you. Go visit your friend for the uplift you need. Be well - sending a prayer up for you!
ReplyDeleteI wish you could just go on a road trip and visit me. I'd give you that hug you seem to need.
ReplyDeleteHon, I really don't understand. In a lot of ways I'm glad I can't but know you can email and unload anytime.
Hope your weekend gets better!
ReplyDeleteGo to see that friend. It will raise your spirits. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to try to help people out. It just doesn't work out. Realize that you tried, and if it doesn't for some reason, then you tried your best and move.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. When I "help" someone, I always seem to be the one that gets hurt. I would make it a point to go visit with that certain someone and come back to us as your wonderful 'ole self.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I was up last night too with my mind ticking about issues that I have no control over. I guess it is just in my nature and I will have to learn to either live with it or learn to tamper down the voices.
I hope BG has an easy time on Wednesday. Prayers to you both.....
I don't really understand what's going on, but I do know that there are times that what CAN go wrong, will go wrong. I hope you'll see your friend today and will have a shoulder to lean on.
ReplyDeleteWith helping I can only imagine that you are trying to help your husband and he's in pain and a grumpy bum. But that's only a guess. Most men are like that when sick btw.
Whatever it is, you are NOT the root of any disaster. You're just a nice person and bad things do happen to all people from time to time.
Sending you lots of hugs and hoping things will be better tomorrow.
I don't know the circumstance but doing good for the right reason is never wrong. Just remember we are not building treasures for this world. Hope that brightens your day. Dianntha
ReplyDeleteJennifer,
ReplyDeleteDefinitely take the time to get yourself back where you need to be.
I'm not sure where anything can be considered your fault with this - unless I am missing something. I agree with Gabi, that men just don't handle pain/sickness that well. My Dad just had a hernia operation last week and he was driving my Mom crazy the first day or so!
Have some chocolate, smile politely and when all is said and done, BG will feel better and things will get back to normal!
Hugs your way!
{{{{Hugs to you}}}}
ReplyDeleteGo see your friend; have a piece of chocolate or whatever lifts your spirits, and play with Abby, who loves you unconditionally. Men are the worst kind of babies when they don't feel well, if that's the source of your blues.
You are NOT the root of all disasters!
My last name being "Murphy", I can assure you, that I have been subjected to Murphy's Law my whole life, quite frequently! I may well be co-owner of the Title of "Root of all Disasters", at least up here in New England ;^).
Keep your chin up, darlin, we're all here to listen to you vent and to comfort and support you as needed.
You tried to help, and if it did not go as planned, it's not your fault. Don't let someone convince you that it's always your fault for things not going as planned....because even a stopped clock is right twice a day!
ReplyDeleteHope your friend was able to help. Sending prayers your way that you will find peace and joy again. :)
Last night must have been a bad night for a lot of people. I too had one - circles with no real solution found to answer the problems. TAke heart girl we are all with you.
ReplyDeleteObviously, I don't know what's happened, but I remember the last time you felt like this. Just remember that if we take the trouble to write to you, then there's no way you can be a bad . Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to help someone they turn on us for no apparent reason. Believe me. I know. Just keep your chin up and let it all wash over you. There's lots of love out here for you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to BG on Wednesday and I hope you feel better too. I hope today is better for you. You are a good person. Remember that!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am so sorry you are meant to feel that way. All I say to myself sometimes is we are all doing the best we can. Sending lots of hugs your way.
ReplyDelete