Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mother's Day

The Sampler Girl--designer

stitched and finished by me in 2010

Happy Mother's Day to all sweet readers today!  Life is moving along and thank goodness for prayers.
I blogged about this piece in more depth when I was stitching it. I picked it out, the pattern, not because of my own mother and memory but because at the time my son was in Afghanistan, and I prayed for him constantly.
My own mother's prayers, I can't really say or judge, but have also clung with me through my life as there have been times my life was almost taken but was not.
For that, I"m much greatful for. On Mother's Day Sunday, it's a bittersweet memory for me but I take it in stride from year to year and I stand on the promise of faith, love and hope and the greatest of these is love as a promise
Last Fall, my own mother came over to meet me for lunch and I was happy because she was actually choosing to come see me for a change. She wouldn't come to my house as she knew I was in a situation that was not secure and didn't want to confront even though the individual had left.
This sampler had been hanging in my home where I could see it on many occasions but I always thought of my own kids, grown, but distant.

I never understood it actually but kept trusting God and believing He was taking care of them.
On that day my own mother came, I was excited , but since she was not comfortable to go to my house, to show her a new diner that sells GREAT hamburgers. We ate, went antique-looking just for fun as we both like that and on this day before I left I took this from my back door shelf in the kitchen and wanted my son to have it then. I was learning to let go. Letting go.

For all the things he tried to strip from me, he couldn't take my memories, my memories of younger years, taking care of him and protecting him, praying for him. Memories of middle school and struggles, memories of high school and trying to help him in college.

I was so proud of him when came back from Afghanistan and I saw him and touched his arm.
I asked for a hug but he refused. Again, I walked off. It's the type of tough love that mother's go through and have to accept and not necessarily understand but the fact of hurt.
He wanted me to feel hurt and it worked.
As I clung to my own Father in heaven and prayed for him daily along with his sister, I finally reached a point of good advice given to me, and that was to let go. I was still proud of my son for his service, but I was beginning to not understand his hurtful intentions.
I still don't understand it all but I gave this sampler on that Fall day last year to give to him.
I wanted him to know I was still praying for him and had always.
I thought I was doing the right thing as he is an adult man now, by sending him emails to let him know of the danger I was dealing with last year.
I never got any acknowledgement or just a note back that he received it as was given to him.
I don't even know if my own mother gave it as I asked but I kept going trying to protect my life.
Now, on this Mother's Day, he is trying again to hurt me with lies and create pain.
The proud feeling I had of him serving our country has turned to disaapointment and hurt. Again. 
But even though he still struggles obviously with his own issues, his lies and shame are in the hands of His Maker, not mine any longer.

In my quiet time today I read this:

“My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place.” Jeremiah 50:6 (NIV)

and I think he describes my own Mother's Day tomorrow. I know where my resting place is and it's in the mountains. I know the shepherds that try to lead people astray. I'm so blessed that the truth really does set us free. People, no matter who, that try to hurt me have one person to answer to when this world is all said and done and that is God the Father. If you have done the best that you could as a mother and had grown children continue to lie and try to hurt you, or reject your love, then move on. Move on and your only thing left on this earth you can do is pray for them. They cannot take away that faith.

I'm writing this because I've heard of too many parents who are in the same position and Mother's Day is painful. It's time to put away the lies, hurt and hate they display as they are now adults.
They will answer to the same Father who created us in the begininng. Pray for them that they not wander through life led astray by people who are deceptive. 

That's what mother love is. It's loving even though expecting nothing in return. It's loving when they hurt and it's knowing when to let go and just pray.
Get the courage to move on, rebuke the lies and intentional hurt. 
I hope you have a much better one, filled with love from your children, the way it should be............. filled with hope and faith and love.

From one stitching soul to another,


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