Driving home from work, I contemplated on the most particular forms of rejections, especially the ones that hit us hard such as from parents or from children. I have to say I'm blessed because my husband has always been supportive and understanding when even immediate family members demonstrate such rejecting, even repulsive acts, that would usually drive away anybody. He has been the most loving, most understanding and the most supportive of the sadness that accompanies rejection. We had a long talk after I came home from work and we're amazed at the family members that really are hurtful in their choices. We can only answer for ourselves and know in our hearts that we have been supportive even when things were bad.
In my experience, it's been kinda known fact that rejection is inevitable part of life, for we have no supportive family at all. But we keep on keeping on in spite of the hurt that our immediate family imposes. I have one of the most passive-aggressive mothers in the world. She particularly likes to point out the fact that I'm not "quite good enough". She thrives on passive aggressive control. For example, she loves to point out to me that she has cooked meat in the vegetables and want let my vegetarian sister-in-law know about it so that she can say "see, I made her eat meat whether she wanted to or not". Wow! Just really bizarre. She has reminded me through the years of my inability to be the perfect mother. She tries to "take over" and do it better herself and in the meantime, has won if you think about it. I hope she is thoroughly happy at causing constant strife. In trying to make sense out of the bizzareness, I can only think that she must be a really unhappy person to try to be as hurtful as she has been.
Rejection has only as much power as you let it. You see, I know I did the best that I could as a parent and her opinions are ......only opinons. I guess, when I found out sporadically, even accidentally that she was having a "going-away" supper recently for my son , who would be gone a year to Afghanistan, and intentially didn't invite us.......I realized what she really was made of.
Even though it was very hurtful to find out we were'nt intentially invited and that we may not see him for a year, she still persued her act of aggression.......but in a passive way. Never the less, it's hurtful. She will have to live with her decisions. I would not like to be in her shoes because intential hurt for my childen has never crossed my mind.
Rejection is such a powerful impact on people you love.......or think you love. I'm fortunate in that I have a husband that has always been supportive even through these times. He is the most understanding person in the world and actually cannot totally relate to folks like this but he sees what it does to other people and can appreciate the impact that total support has in a relationship. I'm so thankful for him. It's been hard being a step parent and being told over and over by my children that he is basically not respected for being concerned.
I'm thankful though for a husband that is very loving and very understanding.
We realize that we are unimportant to our family but we still love them in spite of their hurtfulness. I have told my children this many times........life is choices and your the one that has to live with your decisions. And that goes for parents as well.
We know that even though our children and my parents reject us, that God loves us because he knows what we really are. That's the most important of all. I just hope my parents realize this one day.