Trying to distract but not accomplishing it today

Our front door always has a note just right under the wreath in case the military drives up to our house.

I have to remind myself why we are in this mess of a war.

Freedom is the opposite of terrorism.

And this is my little boy in the middle of it. He doesn't understand yet how as a parent, it's so painful for your child to be in harm's way but I think one day he will mature and will understand. I may be long gone, but one day he will understand.

Today I'm off and I had hoped for so many things to get done. My list was growing and it's mid afternoon and I'm still not quite together. I'm very distracted. Nothing is getting done.

I watched the news this morning and of course, I get online news every day and unfortunately, that's how we find things out.

I've done pretty good for a couple of weeks now and then it hit me all today, how scared I am.

I haven't cried in a long time but this morning as I watched CNN talk about this massive battle coming up in Afghanistan and the interview with a mother of an 18 year old boy in boot camp, preparing to go in the next few months, I broke down when she broke down and I didn't stop crying for 30 minutes. It just comes out sometimes and I'm thankful I was off work when it did.

I'm afraid for Brandon. Even though I don't agree with his coldness, he is still part of me.

This war is a mess. And scarier more is that we still have folks that are US citizens that don't want the war to keep going and don't even see that there is an end to it but we still are going at it. I really feel sorry for British mothers. And I know spouses are upset too as well but I'm here to tell you that it's different being the mother of a soldier. Way different.

We are the ones that taught them that the stove was hot, that outlets are dangerous, that seatbelts were necessary, that drugs were bad, and on and on. We changed their diapers, we birthed them. We watched them graduate, kindergarten and high school.
We clapped when they took their first step, when they sat up the first time, cut their first tooth, celebrated their first birthday. We were there in parent teacher conferences, and Boy Scouts (even though I did iron on too many patches LOL). We aren't perfect as parents but we sure as heck know them a little better, I think.

When I read that a battle for Marjah is imminent and McCrystal is fixing to put an offensive bigger than any since 2001, I'm scared. Even though Brandon is in his last 7-8 weeks there, I'm even more scared. Complacency can set in in the last weeks and this is exactly when they need to be acutely more suspicious and quick.

Here are some pics of British and U.S. marines getting ready for this big assault. Britain is getting hit hard over this past year. They said they have now reached more casualities since the 1982 war.

This was yesterday, getting ready in a sandstorm, for the battle that no one knows when it's going to start.

Their jobs are never-ending now.

And here is the mission here for NATO. To train Afghanistan army. Doesn't he look ready?

For this imminent battle, they are talking to the villagers to flee or hunker down.
This area in particular in Helmond Province is where 90% of the world's opium is grown.

So basically the mission of this war is to train Afghanistan (drug users) to be a united force and take over their own country's defense. And Obama says we can do this in a few months and start exiting in 12 months...........is this crazy or what?

They are after the Taliban who so totally disrespect and hate Americans. This picture is sickening to me.

Boys falling out of helicopters, getting ready.

Boys that didn't make it and are touching the name tags of their friends.

Fighting through sandstorms, pic from yesterday.

And snow storms

And an Afghanistan soldier praying in his tent yesterday for this battle.

This man, one of the main leaders hit by a drone awhile back was pronounced on the news today as dead in Pakistan.

Army getting ready

while Afghanistan villagers are fleeing out where ever before it starts.

This is a mess.

I'm journaling today just to make awareness, not for any pity parties, but just keeping it real here. There are alot of "I should be doing this and that" today for me, but I can't stay focused.

I got a DVD in the mail of Gone With the Wind and I watched half of it. Stopped it, to move on to something else, whatever so as not to think about what's going on "Over There".

"Over there" it's 7am and I'm wondering what today will bring for them.

It's another gray day here, no sunshine but no snow. It did rain a little today and I think more is forecasted tonight.

This has been the longest winter I can ever remember.