Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Trying to distract but not accomplishing it today

Our front door always has a note just right under the wreath in case the military drives up to our house.

I have to remind myself why we are in this mess of a war.

Freedom is the opposite of terrorism.

And this is my little boy in the middle of it. He doesn't understand yet how as a parent, it's so painful for your child to be in harm's way but I think one day he will mature and will understand. I may be long gone, but one day he will understand.

Today I'm off and I had hoped for so many things to get done. My list was growing and it's mid afternoon and I'm still not quite together. I'm very distracted. Nothing is getting done.

I watched the news this morning and of course, I get online news every day and unfortunately, that's how we find things out.

I've done pretty good for a couple of weeks now and then it hit me all today, how scared I am.

I haven't cried in a long time but this morning as I watched CNN talk about this massive battle coming up in Afghanistan and the interview with a mother of an 18 year old boy in boot camp, preparing to go in the next few months, I broke down when she broke down and I didn't stop crying for 30 minutes. It just comes out sometimes and I'm thankful I was off work when it did.

I'm afraid for Brandon. Even though I don't agree with his coldness, he is still part of me.

This war is a mess. And scarier more is that we still have folks that are US citizens that don't want the war to keep going and don't even see that there is an end to it but we still are going at it. I really feel sorry for British mothers. And I know spouses are upset too as well but I'm here to tell you that it's different being the mother of a soldier. Way different.

We are the ones that taught them that the stove was hot, that outlets are dangerous, that seatbelts were necessary, that drugs were bad, and on and on. We changed their diapers, we birthed them. We watched them graduate, kindergarten and high school.
We clapped when they took their first step, when they sat up the first time, cut their first tooth, celebrated their first birthday. We were there in parent teacher conferences, and Boy Scouts (even though I did iron on too many patches LOL). We aren't perfect as parents but we sure as heck know them a little better, I think.

When I read that a battle for Marjah is imminent and McCrystal is fixing to put an offensive bigger than any since 2001, I'm scared. Even though Brandon is in his last 7-8 weeks there, I'm even more scared. Complacency can set in in the last weeks and this is exactly when they need to be acutely more suspicious and quick.

Here are some pics of British and U.S. marines getting ready for this big assault. Britain is getting hit hard over this past year. They said they have now reached more casualities since the 1982 war.

This was yesterday, getting ready in a sandstorm, for the battle that no one knows when it's going to start.

Their jobs are never-ending now.

And here is the mission here for NATO. To train Afghanistan army. Doesn't he look ready?

For this imminent battle, they are talking to the villagers to flee or hunker down.
This area in particular in Helmond Province is where 90% of the world's opium is grown.

So basically the mission of this war is to train Afghanistan (drug users) to be a united force and take over their own country's defense. And Obama says we can do this in a few months and start exiting in 12 months...........is this crazy or what?

They are after the Taliban who so totally disrespect and hate Americans. This picture is sickening to me.

Boys falling out of helicopters, getting ready.

Boys that didn't make it and are touching the name tags of their friends.

Fighting through sandstorms, pic from yesterday.

And snow storms

And an Afghanistan soldier praying in his tent yesterday for this battle.

This man, one of the main leaders hit by a drone awhile back was pronounced on the news today as dead in Pakistan.

Army getting ready

while Afghanistan villagers are fleeing out where ever before it starts.
This is a mess.

I'm journaling today just to make awareness, not for any pity parties, but just keeping it real here. There are alot of "I should be doing this and that" today for me, but I can't stay focused.

I got a DVD in the mail of Gone With the Wind and I watched half of it. Stopped it, to move on to something else, whatever so as not to think about what's going on "Over There".

"Over there" it's 7am and I'm wondering what today will bring for them.

It's another gray day here, no sunshine but no snow. It did rain a little today and I think more is forecasted tonight.

This has been the longest winter I can ever remember.


  1. I cant imagine being a Momma and having to worry about this. How many times have you considered hopping a plane, finding your son, taking him by the hand, and telling him he is coming home with his mom? I could see that playing thru my mind everyday. I will keep him and you in my thoughts and prayers. I can offer you no words of wisdom or no comfort I am afraid, there isnt any. They should let all the moms make an assault in Afganistan. The war would be over in 10 minutes. I doubt he is really "cold", just putting on his game face to cope. I thank him and all the troops who serve. They have my gratitude, my admiration and my love.

  2. Yep, I thought about that plane idea right before he even left and he said, "mama, this ain't like Disneyworld over there!"
    Appreciate your thoughts and prayers.


  3. This is a tough and scary time for many. Those that are serving over there and those that love those that are serving. My nephew is serving in the military and we hope and pray every day for his safety. I don't know what else to say about this but agree what you said , "it's a mess"!

  4. I'm sitting here crying while reading your post. I can feel all of your emotions. I offer you prayers , prayers and more prayers. There is so much about this war that we never see or hear about. I appreciate you sharing your personal thoughts on the war. I thank your son for protecting us all!!!


  5. Thank you for this post today. I watched the mother also that son was about to go over this morning also. I don't have a child in the service but, I do support them with my prayers. This is about to get bad overseas. The US people need to understand that and support the War. All my prayers are with our service men & women. God Bless Them and the freedom they fight for and die for each day. Thank You our dear soldiers!!

  6. Wish there was something I could do or say but know that 'I get it' and will pray. Hugs

  7. Thoughts and prayers are always with you. My boys aren't old enough yet to be of service, but they want to be like their Daddy and Uncle and serve when they grow up. As their mother, the thought scares me to death, so I can only imagine what you go through on a daily basis.

    Continue to do the things that calm you and hopefully these final weeks will pass quickly and safely for your son.

  8. Hang in there Jen. People need to remember whether they agree with this war or that battle that our young men and women are allowing us to live with the freedom we all so enjoy. Their sacrifice of their time away from loved ones is unconshunable (sp??) to others. It is their dedication and discipline that allows all those who don't believe in what our troops are doing the FREEDOM to have their opinions.

    Sorry - now I got on a roll. Point is...be proud and be strong and keep the faith. Brandon will be stateside soon. Time flies at times and creeps at others. Your next few weeks will seem like months but will be over before you know it. I hope Brandon's base is near you or is somewhere you will be able to go to see him in person. Your post puts things in perspective for the rest of us. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers.


  9. Oh sweetie, sending prayers and hugs and lots of kisses. I cannot begin to imagine what your heart is feeling today, but I know that I can imagine being there to embrace you in your time of need.
    Hugs surround you, peaches
    Adding Brandon to tonight's special intentions.

  10. Hello Jennifer. It sometimes seems that the world has gone mad, doesn't it? I want to thank you for taking the time to remember the British service men and women who are serving and dying out there. We are in this together, as we should be. I will keep you in my thoughts. Blessings Lesley

  11. {{{HUGS}}} Many of my friends have sons in the military too. I cannot imagine how scary it must feel firsthand as a parent. Ft Carson is just an hour from where I live so there is constantly news about deployments and homecomings. Hang in there.

  12. How you must be feeling I do not know- but be assured that thoughts are with you, your son and the many families of servicemen and women from both sides of the Atlantic that are doing all they can to keep us safe. God Bless them all and keep them safe.
    Barb in UK.

  13. You are a brave soldier right here on American soldier. All the parents of our military men and women are.


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