Stitching away the sadness tonight

Progress tonight watching TV, even American Idol (and I'm not a fan usually), anything to get my mind off a tragedy in our lives.

First thing, got to work found out a close friend's life had ended in a tragic way.

Shocking.

Numbness set in.

Because I have much respect for her and I do believe she is probably looking down on us in Heaven right this very minute, I will just say that I miss her alot already.

She was one of the first I took for a ride in my new Mustang, when it was brand spanking new.

She was one who would make you laugh yet hide alot of pain that only her closest friends knew.

No matter what the circumstance, she held on to the belief that her family was first and was the best grand parent you would ever find. She was a person I confided in and she to me over the past years after I moved up to North Georgia and I am sitting here stunned still, wanting to just have one more lunch together and have one last talk.

I have to accept it's not going to happen.

Stress, my friends, takes a deep toll and even if people are smiling and saying they are fine, unless you really know them well, it's usually a superficial thing or that's my experience.

I struggle with the fact of knowing that God says he will not give us more than we can bear and then hearing the news I did today, I'm confused. Even myself, at specific times of my life feel that it's more than I can take.

Right now, I'm in shock, and the anxiety associated with getting through the funeral will be tough-going.

She used to comment on my stitching alot. We both knew each other's circumstances and would tell jokes to make us laugh and pull through. I just so want to have one more conversation with her. It's so hard. She meant alot to me and I will never forget the years we were friends. The journey of life brings us some folks we meet for just one day, some for a year, and some for life.

So, that was my day. Just getting through it in 15 minute increments, smiling and solving problems so the world couldn't tell we held deep hurt and pain over this loss.

Came home, ate a conglomeration of leftovers from the past few days and then just sat and stared at the fire for a bit, then stitched.

I wanted to stitch a sampler just for her and I will be thinking of one that I can in her memory. I can feel the tears welling up. At first today, just numb and shocked and now I'm starting to feel the tears wanting to just flow.

Oh, Dear God, bless her soul for me, for us, for our little group of close friends and I pray for her family that they will understand in some way if that is Your will in this life.

Jennifer