Saturday, May 8, 2010

It's easier to sing than say

As you know by now music is a big part of my life, has been since early on.
Eva Cassiddy is a great musician and I love all her songs. It's sad that her fame and music only came after she died early from cancer. Her voice is so clear. And sometimes, or alot of the time, her and many other musicians can sing what I wish I could say. I think that's why I like to be creative. I used to spend many hours at the piano but since my arm surgery, I don't have the confidence to play except sometimes on a day alone. Those days are fewer but listening to music of all kinds, along with stitching have been two of the best ways I cope with losses, dissapointments, and hurts.

The tears flowed today while driving down the road, flowed again while sitting in a chair to get my hair trimmed. That was a new one for me.
But, I have to count my blessings because if I didn't know the deepest holes of pain, I couldn't be so thankful for the light that does shine. I couldn't be as compassionate or have empathy for others and that is definitely a job requirement in my career.

Even though it's painful, I've learned that welcoming in the opportunity to learn something from each situation can only be found by going through the difficult times.

Mothers' Day has always been hard for me. My first Mothers Day I didn't have my son and it was hard to answer many questions thereafter on "how many children do you have?" and do you celebrate it or not? Then, I had many good mother's days when my kids were growing up.
But in the past year my kids have decided to try every avenue possible to hurt me and it hurts to be treated that way after spending all my life caring for them but it really displays to me that they haven't yet learned about integrity and to be frank with one, the word honesty.

But, I'm not alone out there. There are many who either have children that intentionally try to hurt them, or are reminded by their own parents that they need to have children when they have decided not to, or don't even have mothers, or know their mother.

Tomorrow I will write more on my experience this year as a mother but right now I hope you enjoy Eva's song.

Please remember to go to the bottom of the blog and turn the volume icon on Playlist all the way down before opening the video to listen.

Have a great night's rest and here's hoping that all mothers of little children are greeted with breakfast in bed tomorrow. You deserve it.
Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs in the world.



  1. I don't think it's possible for kids to fully understand all the mom deals with when they are children. I know I blamed my mom for a lot when I was a teen but as I grew up I realized there must have been other things going on with her. I couldn't help but have compassion.

    Forgiveness is an adult thing and is so very hard. It's easier to blame someone for something than to put yourself out there, but I finally reached that level with my mom and I'm so glad I did.

    We have a relationship now because I made the decision to move on and love her regardless of the past. I could have lost her to her heart issue this year and I would have had many regrets. Was she wrong in some things? YES but she's still my mom and she's human.

    Whew...where did that come from? Sorry. I guess I've been reflecting on Mother's Day between me and my mom.

    I hope you find comfort in knowing people care and have a nice day tomorrow.

  2. Jennifer - I have just recently started reading your blog and even though you and I are completely different people I just wanted to tell you how special you strike me as being. I have an 18-year-old daughter that is twisting the knife as I write this and you have struck a chord within me with your recent posts. I wish you all the best and a peaceful mother's day. Beth

  3. She has such a beautiful voice -thanks for sharing.

    Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day. May you find peace in your day.

  4. My darling have come so far this year and your friends are so proud of you. Happy Mother's Day from your sisterhood of Moms.

    What a beautiful song...thanks :)

    Hugs from one Ma to another :)

    Ma TK


    I have learned that kids never really understand why we do, say, or act until they are parents themselves.

    It is always easier to blame the MOM for everything going wrong.

    MOM always seems to be unfair and do things to hurt kids.

    Then the kids grow up and realize just how much MOM did for them and actually cared.

    Believe me I am one that believed that way. Now I am waiting for my kids to grow up and see that I did everything with love.

  6. ((Hugs)))

    I try to have a relationship with my mom, but she's just not interested in me or my kids. Mother's Day is hard for me for that reason. Life is so difficult sometimes. You've experienced some real pain in your life and it's a beautiful thing that you still take the time to count your blessings. You're stronger than you realize.


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