Saturday, October 3, 2009

Holja a minute?

Here's Brandon when he was about 18 months old in the pic on the left, 7 years old at DisneyWorld at the bottom and then recently here. Some of his first words were like the pic on the left. He would come up to me and say with his arms out "Holdya a minute?" He really meant he wanted me to hold him so I always did and hence his spoiling began.

We sure are worried about him right now. We get no information if he is alive or well or what?
I counted last night, 17 letters, no answer. We watch the news and look up on a website to see if he is on a list and that's all we get. I lost many nights sleep when he was a baby, changed diapers, protected him from any harm that I could, loved him, and this is what we get. I'm very disappointed and hurt. I had a really bad dream last night about him and so this is on my mind.
I hope he is ok. And most of all, I hope he can deal with his anger issues because I know I didn't raise him this way, that's for sure.
We just simply want to know from time to time if he is ok. That's all. No long conversations or anything else but it seems that this won't happen so we will wait and wonder and hope he is not harmed while, according to the news, the situation in Afghanistan has deteriorated. I really admire the military for its service to spouses during this time of war but I'm very disappointed that parents are not given the time of day which is strange to me because we spent many more years, birthed the child and raised him. Simple communication would be great.

I know that one of the scriptures from 1st Corinthians says that "love never gives up" but it's really hard to continue being hurt like this intentionally.

I've had to listen to some very uneducated remarks about the war from other people(not on this blog) and I have always taken up for him and our country. We are proud of him for being so brave. But, I can't say we are proud of this cruel coldness that is obviously taken a part of his heart.


  1. Such a sad post, Jennifer. I will keep you all in prayer.

  2. Jennifer...I am sending positive thoughts your way in hopes that you will hear something soon from your precious son. Take care...

  3. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you hear some good news soon.

  4. Trust me if the news was bad you'd hear it very fast.

    My first Husband was killed whilst serving with the RAF in Germany and the support they gave me then was great. If your not hearing anything then there is nothing too serious to worry about. In this case it really is a case of no news is good news.

    I'm sure he's not being deliberately heartless possibly he just has so much to cope with it's easier for him to say nothing to you. I know none of this will stop you worrying about him, your his mum it goes with the job discription. Trust that he will come home and he will need and want all your love and support then.

  5. You are in my thoughts and I will say a prayer that you hear from your son very soon.

  6. Jennifer, don't assume that he does not want to communicate. My son spent one tour in Afganistan and one in Iraq. A lot of the time they were not allowed to communicate for position and safety reasons. And you also have to understand that right now protecting himself and his buddies are priority. He loves you, but he just may not be able to let you know. Hang in there; he will as soon as he can.

  7. Jennifer, I'm very sorry you haven't heard from your son. I can't imagine what he must be going through being in Afganistan. Stay positive & I am sure everything will work itself out.

  8. Jennifer, do you know for sure it's because of "anger issues" that he's not writing or communicating with you right now? I wonder if it might be something else.
    I think of you and your family often.

  9. Jennifer, I will hold him in my prayers that all is ok...I can only imagine how deep your worries go. I am the mother of 18 and 25 yr old sons.... Lets pray that no news is good news...still, hang in there...Faye in NC

  10. Oh, that is an awful situation! I do hope you hear from him soon.

  11. Yep, I know for sure. He had two weeks leave last month and didn't even stop by here. We found out haphzardly, asked him to come by before he went back....nothing.
    He can call but he won't. In fact we paid for his calling card that he calls his girlfriend and my mother with but nothing.
    They refuse to let us know if he is ok, which I think is strange as well. It's really bizarre.
    I could never do that to my daughter if I were in her shoes.

  12. Oh Jennifer.....I am so sorry for your hurt and sadness, I would feel the same way in this situation, sometimes the bewilderment that a grown child causes in a parent is overwhelming and can threaten to knock us over....stay strong in your knowledge that you did your best for him and he will one day grow to appreciate it. My prayers are with you sweetie, and as always with Brandon for both his safety and a softened heart upon his homecoming.

    PS: As always I am here to lend a shoulder :)


  13. Oh my gosh, that is awful. It gives me the shivers only to read that. Sending you a big hug


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