Saturday, June 3, 2017

Losing My Daddy

Hey friends.

Since I posted last I've been through quite a few changes. One of which is the death of my father on April 20th. He had suffered 6 months as a quadraplegic from neck down and on life support.
I could write alot about my daddy but long story short, he was my rock. Of course no one is perfect but in the last 3 years my daddy decided to have a good relationship with me, writing me letters, calling every Sunday night at 9pm -10pm to give me encouragement, check on me, tell me he loves me when he knew other family was being distant.



I treasure the time I spent with him for months, sometimes in a coma not knowing if he heard me or not. But I do believe he did. I wiped away tears. Eventually, making sounds through his trach some I understood and the respiratory therapist, some just loud moans. We found a way to communicate without speaking a word. That's what love does.

Did I say what took a very healthy man who drove a tractor and had just fixed the roof of his house?
A mosquito bite infected with West Nile Virus.


Yep, my father was number 5 out of 6 cases of West Nile virus in GA for 2016.

Unfortunately, for him he did not have a mild case but got brain and spinal cord infection of which there is no cure.
My daddy and I had alot of conversations of wisdom in his last 3 years.  He was fixer of all things mechanical or household. He didn't go to college or take any special courses in life. He just would figure out how to fix anything.

Previous to this, I had major shoulder surgery on my dominant arm.  This was 6 days before my daddy passed, taken off life support. Since then I have been in much pain, especialy on rehab days. I now have 3 metal anchors attaching my ligament to the bone and having complications in the past few weeks where the doctor wants to do another surgery but I honestly am trying to work it out with physical therapy as much as possible. I really don't think I can go through another shoulder surgery as this one was the most painful thing I've had including birthing babies. At physical therapy 3 times a week I am making the best progress in the past week so I'm not losing hope.

About week 3, I started to try to knit again and would off and on knit a row here and there.
This past week, knitting about an hour a day. Unfortunately, I am having nerve pain from the shoulder down to my thumb and very bad at the elbow with swelling. We are hoping this again will resolve with therapy.

Thank you to all who sent me encouragement through this time on Facebook and who PM'd me and shared their own experiences with the loss of a parent.

I read somewhere that there are rites of passages for all women and the final one is when her father dies. I found that interesting but totally can understand that point in life.
My father is buried right beside my son that passed away in 1985 and my daddy buried my son in such a way to give the option that I can be buried beside him when the time comes. At that time my daddy paid for all my prenatal care because he knew my spouse at the time couldn''t as he had no job.
He also paid for the casket and memorial service for our son.
He always was the first one I saw waking up from surgery. Always.
And I missed that so much this time in surgery.

At the very last 25 minutes when my father was passing, my brother held one hand and I the other. All our family in the room and supportive. My daddy's eyes became more open and it appeared he was seeing something over him and he looked so peaceful. I do believe he saw angels greeting him or maybe some of our family and his closest friends who had passed over also.

Dealing with constant shoulder pain and rehab of my arm and crying at the drop  of a hat about daddy, it has been a very rough 7 weeks to say the least.
The only consolation I have is that he is much healthier and happy now in a beautiful place called Heaven where I will meet him again one day.

        


I miss him so much. He made sure I felt love by him and in fact he left me a letter that he loved me much and always and I am having an Etsy designer who takes original handwriting and impresses it on a bracelet plate of solid silver so I can be reminded of how his spirit is always with me in his original handwriting. When I receive my memory bracelet back I will be sure to post the Etsy shop name and the owner because she is the sweetest while we conversed back and forth.




Today's mission for my husband and I is to work on my camera to get the best pictures possible so I can return to blogging regularly.
I have missed it alot.

I feel particularly blessed to have a very supportive husband who brings me coffee in bed, rubs my shoulder and back to work out the muscle knots, takes time away from work to take me and cheer me on during rehab of my arm, and who has been a vital part of help from this surgery.

I hope this finds all of you in a happy, peaceful moment with needles in hand creating something beautiful!

I also have spent my downtime watching ALOT of knitting podcasts and will share later on this topic.

So spread love and always remember life is short. Enjoy all you can with your creative hearts!

Love Always,
Jennifer






Monday, April 10, 2017

And a New Beginning/ Cozy Memories Blanket-Knit

Yup, I decided to use up some acrylic yarn that had been hanging around my yarn basket for..........a couple of years.  When I first started knitting, without knowing better of the quality and luxury of other fibers, I bought alot of acrylic yarn due to cost. If I had to pick 2 favorite brands from Joanne's or Michael or Hobby Lobby, it would be Hobby Lobby brands, I Love this Yarn and I love this Cotton. Also Caron Simply So Soft, and Lion Brand Hometown. The colors are gorgeous of all the ones if you are making something requiring solids.

However, I do love the Indie Dyed yarns the best and I have quite an accumulation of these as well in my stash.

But something drew me to start on another blanket. I'm still working on the scrap one but I will say I learned some things from it that I should do differently and this intrigued me along with "Robin's Egg" colorway of a Caron Simply So Soft brand as I looked through my stash this week.


This was my progress up until yesterday morning. I have since added 2 more squares on a drive to see my daddy until my shoulder couldnt take the pain anymore.


I'm really enjoying my Springy bee here. This is the only way I enjoy bees though.



I find casting on and connected the squares still a bit challenging but have improved somewhat.


I have a gazillion ends to weave in.


The lighter color gold did not even have the ball band on it in my stash but I am thinking its a Caron Simply So Soft as well.

The darker squares are called Honey/ Simply So Soft/ Caron.

The beautiful springy blue is Caron's colorwary Robin's Egg.

Spring is a time for fresh new colors. I dove into this but have a gazillion other projects including cross stitching projects on the  needles in progress.

I'm about to have shoulder surgery on Wednesday and have heard so many different stories of recovery, which some quite frankly scare me but I think the worse thing is I may not be able to knit or cross stitch for a few weeks.

I'm going to set up my needlework stand and have a project on the ready in the stand so that I may try to tackle left handed stitching only. Even if it's slow, it's something.

Honestly, I think later on knitting will help rehab my hands. We will see.

I wish it was not my dominant arm that will be out of service but I'm thankful I have an arm!

Thank you all for the prayers for my daddy. I went to see him yesterday and he is so much weaker. He just looks in my eyes and sometimes grimaces like he wants to cry. I talk to him, took pictures of me and him when I was about 6 years old and that was the only relief I saw in his face. He looked at me and I could tell by the top of his nose he was smiling inside. 

The situation with him is breaking my brother, my mother, and mine's heart and we again thank you for your much needed prayers and thoughts. Besides burying my son in 1985, this has been the second worst if not the same grief and heartbreak I've ever had. 

I read an Irish saying this week that deeply describes the feeling.

"Losing a father is like losing your umbrella in a storm"


and that my friends is how I feel because my daddy was my rock.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Reasons I Love Abbie


~~~~~~~~ because she will model anything I knit with leftover yarn


~~~~~~~~~~~~~because she just has that face and eyes that tell me she loves me



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~because she never tires of being held even with a needle moving up and down


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~because she will wear anything I finish making


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~because she can totally be the sweetest


~~~~~~~~~~~because she knows what I'm thinking and listens


~~~~~~~~~~and listens more


~~~~~~~~~~~and shows me how comfy home is to her


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~almost too comfy even in an Easter dress


~~~~~~~~~~~~because she is my right hand assistant blogger


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and never misses an opportunity to give me a kissie kiss


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~because she always seeks out the light


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and seeks out the attention matter of factly


~~~~~~~~~~~and even covertly (if that is a word)


~~~~~~~~~~because she enjoys the sunshine


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and the night time


~~~~~~~~~~~~~and will travel with her love as well to share with others