Saturday, June 3, 2017

Losing My Daddy

Hey friends.

Since I posted last I've been through quite a few changes. One of which is the death of my father on April 20th. He had suffered 6 months as a quadraplegic from neck down and on life support.
I could write alot about my daddy but long story short, he was my rock. Of course no one is perfect but in the last 3 years my daddy decided to have a good relationship with me, writing me letters, calling every Sunday night at 9pm -10pm to give me encouragement, check on me, tell me he loves me when he knew other family was being distant.



I treasure the time I spent with him for months, sometimes in a coma not knowing if he heard me or not. But I do believe he did. I wiped away tears. Eventually, making sounds through his trach some I understood and the respiratory therapist, some just loud moans. We found a way to communicate without speaking a word. That's what love does.

Did I say what took a very healthy man who drove a tractor and had just fixed the roof of his house?
A mosquito bite infected with West Nile Virus.


Yep, my father was number 5 out of 6 cases of West Nile virus in GA for 2016.

Unfortunately, for him he did not have a mild case but got brain and spinal cord infection of which there is no cure.
My daddy and I had alot of conversations of wisdom in his last 3 years.  He was fixer of all things mechanical or household. He didn't go to college or take any special courses in life. He just would figure out how to fix anything.

Previous to this, I had major shoulder surgery on my dominant arm.  This was 6 days before my daddy passed, taken off life support. Since then I have been in much pain, especialy on rehab days. I now have 3 metal anchors attaching my ligament to the bone and having complications in the past few weeks where the doctor wants to do another surgery but I honestly am trying to work it out with physical therapy as much as possible. I really don't think I can go through another shoulder surgery as this one was the most painful thing I've had including birthing babies. At physical therapy 3 times a week I am making the best progress in the past week so I'm not losing hope.

About week 3, I started to try to knit again and would off and on knit a row here and there.
This past week, knitting about an hour a day. Unfortunately, I am having nerve pain from the shoulder down to my thumb and very bad at the elbow with swelling. We are hoping this again will resolve with therapy.

Thank you to all who sent me encouragement through this time on Facebook and who PM'd me and shared their own experiences with the loss of a parent.

I read somewhere that there are rites of passages for all women and the final one is when her father dies. I found that interesting but totally can understand that point in life.
My father is buried right beside my son that passed away in 1985 and my daddy buried my son in such a way to give the option that I can be buried beside him when the time comes. At that time my daddy paid for all my prenatal care because he knew my spouse at the time couldn''t as he had no job.
He also paid for the casket and memorial service for our son.
He always was the first one I saw waking up from surgery. Always.
And I missed that so much this time in surgery.

At the very last 25 minutes when my father was passing, my brother held one hand and I the other. All our family in the room and supportive. My daddy's eyes became more open and it appeared he was seeing something over him and he looked so peaceful. I do believe he saw angels greeting him or maybe some of our family and his closest friends who had passed over also.

Dealing with constant shoulder pain and rehab of my arm and crying at the drop  of a hat about daddy, it has been a very rough 7 weeks to say the least.
The only consolation I have is that he is much healthier and happy now in a beautiful place called Heaven where I will meet him again one day.

        


I miss him so much. He made sure I felt love by him and in fact he left me a letter that he loved me much and always and I am having an Etsy designer who takes original handwriting and impresses it on a bracelet plate of solid silver so I can be reminded of how his spirit is always with me in his original handwriting. When I receive my memory bracelet back I will be sure to post the Etsy shop name and the owner because she is the sweetest while we conversed back and forth.




Today's mission for my husband and I is to work on my camera to get the best pictures possible so I can return to blogging regularly.
I have missed it alot.

I feel particularly blessed to have a very supportive husband who brings me coffee in bed, rubs my shoulder and back to work out the muscle knots, takes time away from work to take me and cheer me on during rehab of my arm, and who has been a vital part of help from this surgery.

I hope this finds all of you in a happy, peaceful moment with needles in hand creating something beautiful!

I also have spent my downtime watching ALOT of knitting podcasts and will share later on this topic.

So spread love and always remember life is short. Enjoy all you can with your creative hearts!

Love Always,
Jennifer






6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you've been through so much recently, Jennifer. I'll definitely be keeping you in my prayers. I'm thankful you have good memories to keep your daddy close to your heart.

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it's tough to lose your father. My dad passed away almost nine years ago and I still wish he was here every day. I hope your shoulder improves soon, keep going with the physiotherapy and hopefully you will turn a corner.

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  3. Dearest Jennifer,
    It still sounds all so unreal as it happened so unexpected and with such a devastating outcome for your dear Dad!
    It could happen to any of us and those unfortunate that became a victim of the West Nile virus left their loved ones dealing with such an unfair fate.
    But on the other hand, what precious time you both have head over the past three years! How meaningful that proved to be, unaware of its value at the time...
    Let's hope your shoulder will heal and life will get on without pain for you soon.
    Sending you hugs,
    Mariette

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  4. I am so sorry to hear your loss ...sending you big hugs and love
    Lots of prayers x

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  5. My condolence to you for your loss and wishing you a speedy recovery.

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  6. So sorry for your loss! My daddy passed away 6 years ago and it seems like just yesterday.

    I hope you heal quickly!

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Comments are welcome at the homestead at any time! I appreciate your time out of your day to stop and say hello!!
We love to hear from you and yours any time and cherish the time you take to be with us here. I hope you have a GREAT week!
Jennifer

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